Graditude by Sharren Reil

It’s a new year and many of us have made new year resolutions of some flavor. My resolution is to feel and express more gratitude! But to really get at the root of gratitude, I had to get very sick for a long time!

Coming out the other end of two rare forms of rheumatoid arthritis, Polymyalgia Rheumatica and Giant Cell Arteritis, has taught me that even in the most overwhelming of situations there are many things to be grateful for. Both are diseases caused by extreme inflammation of the veins and arteries, mostly of the upper body and head. This was not the first time my body has attacked itself. In the last thirty years I have lost an appendix, a gall bladder, my thyroid gland, two complete knees, and two complete hip joints to RH. I always bounced back quickly. But Giant Cell Arteritis and the horrible immune suppressing drugs I had to take to stop the inflammation had me off work here at the library for almost two years, and very sick for almost half a year before that. I had no idea anyone could be so sick and eventually recover. Recover is not really the correct term, as my body stopped attacking my vascular system, but the assault could resume at any time on any joint or organ. The drugs I had to take to stop me from dying because of the inflammation levels caused me other kinds of problems. Twice I had a 1-in-a million reactions to the drugs and almost died when my brain swelled. I now have cataract in one eye, my kidneys are damaged for life and my bone density has been dramatically affected. I have lost over 85% of my muscle mass and can’t concentrate or focus like I used to be able to do.

So, what does this have to do with gratitude? Well, I have always been a glass half full type of personality, but I worried about too many things I had no control over. I have always had a keen sense of social justice, but being so ill made me really realize that I had to focus on saving me. Each morning, I would get up and try to focus on what I had, instead of what I did not have. I have an old, but wonderful house, and a huge yard and garden. I lost my old doggo to a brain tumor in May, but she was with me 24/7 the entire time I was ill. It took a while to find a new dog, but just two days ago my Siberian Husky and I were out walking in the -44 weather, both happy and grinning. I have found the perfect dog to help me walk and hike my way back to health! Both my kids, now mid-twenty adults, were home from university and working here in town. I am so grateful for their assistance and support, and for giving me something to really fight for. I am grateful for my wonderful friends, close and far, who kept in touch and surrounded me with love. I am grateful I live a frugal life, so the loss of income was not such a huge deal. I am so grateful that I do not care about status or possessions. I am grateful for books and documentaries and CBC radio which kept me sane and engaged while I was isolated. And now I am grateful to be back at work and able to interact with all the patrons who come and go. There are so many things to worry about in the world, but I hope we can all take a deep breath now and then and focus on what we have and let all the other stuff, status, money, etc., go. Kiss a cat, walk a dog, hug a friend, help a child or senior and focus on what you can give. Focus on love, nothing else really matters…

Here are some books that look at gratitude in different ways!

The Soul of All Living Things by Vint Virga, D.V.M. 636.089 VIR
The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha 808.607 PAS
The Gift of Thanks: The roots, persistence, and paradoxical meaning of a social ritual by Margaret Visser 179.9 VIS Haileybury satellite branch
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*UCK by Mark Manson 158.1 MAN
Joy on Demand by Chade-Meng 152.42 TAN
Happiness the Mindful Way by Ken A. Verni, Psy.D. 153 VER
100 Ways to be Thankful by Lisa Gerry J 179.9 GER

I would like to thank Mallory for her glee in finding me books for my blogs. You are the best unusual book finder by far…